Who doesn't hate Bangalore traffic? 50km/hour is merely a possibility on your speedometer. Pizzahut would run in loss if it had fewer centers as it has to give away free pizzas for not delivering in time. If you always happen to be stuck in a slow moving traffic and signal then after reading this article you will be able to enrich your driving experience. Just join our 80% group. 80 % of the people who drive think driving is to accelerate, hit the brakes and honk . And some take special concerns to learn the amazing art of abusing, solely meant to be used while driving. Well, this is all you need when you are driving on Bangalore roads. If you know anything else, never try applying it because it will only make your Journey lengthier, harder and would take you forever to reach your destination.
You might be an amazing driver but you will never belong to the 80% group till you acquire the following skill set!
Tips for 2 Wheeler:
1. When entering the main road from a sub road always enter the road without caring for vehicles moving on the main road. People are going to abuse you and you will create a jam which will clear only after 20 minutes but it will save you 2 minutes as you need to get your vehicle out first
2. If you are entering the main road from a sub road then never horn. Give a surprise to the drivers on the main road. This not only helps in testing their alertness but also helps to test their vehicle's braking system. It is also possible that you happen to be Tom Cruise, shooting for 'Mission Impossible'. Every second counts.
3. If you find a shortcut and it happens to be a one way, the direction opposite to yours , then check for police. If there is no one, then enter the road. Pedestrian might get confused and startled, some vehicle coming from a side road might have to hit hard on their brakes, but it saves loads of time ' Hey! it's called shortcut for a reason'. Law is to be followed whenever/wherever absolutely necessary.
4. If any vehicle from the sub road is trying to go across the main road then drive your vehicle around this vehicle, so you can go first. Yes, the driver was trying to test if you can drive in curved lanes.
5. If vehicle A is overtaking B and you feel both are slow , then you overtake A simultaneously even if you have to ride in the opposite lane . Remember to overtake before you spot a vehicle in opposite lane. This saves at least 1 minute else you may have to slow down, use your abusive language to defend yourselves against the one coming in the opposite lane as an effective response to your lack of sense of driving.
6. And when you want to try the above and there is no space towards your right , then overtake B from the left as A overtakes from right . B might crash onto your vehicle, or worse hit the brake and, the vehicles behind might bump into B but it's okay. Drivers expect themselves to be a part of 'fast and furious' car chase and of course you will be safe as long as B belongs to 20% group drivers.
Tips for 4 Wheeler:
1. Even when you are driving a huge 4 wheeler , if there is a thin lane which is the shortcut to your destination or avoids traffic, then enter the lane. All 2 wheelers come with an inbuilt flying system. Vehicles from your opposite direction may not have space to drive past you but can certainly fly. If there is another macho man like you, who also entered the thin lane with his huge 4 wheeler in the opposite lane then you can put your abusing skills to display. The mightier man wins and the other will have drive his vehicle in reverse till he finds a route to take a turn.
2. Even though there is a clear sign to drive slow and also instruction in the manual about the speed limitation , drive as fast as you can when you see an empty road. There is a little secret you need to know. All 4 wheelers are actually meant for F1. So braking system is very robust and high speed driving is recommended. Besides who would come your way when you are driving that crazy unless it is a helpless street dog or someone who is not paying attention to your reckless , oops ...I mean skilled driving.
Signal Tips for everyone:
1. If the signal turns red from yellow then accelerate, though it means to decelerate. Someone ahead of you might decelerate and you might crash on to him or you might stop the other lane vehicles who have green signal, but it will save your 3 minutes time. It's a loss for others on road who do not have an effective strategy like you.
2 a. If you are already stuck in a signal and you are waiting by the stop sign then don't wait till the signal goes green. Keep moving your vehicle ahead, inch by inch, till the other road vehicles can't get past your vehicle and let's you go first.
2 b. If you are stuck in a signal and you are not ahead then enter the opposite lane to reach the front. This will result in many more vehicles following your's and creating a jam but they must send you first to clear the jam . Here also people are going to abuse you, you can abuse them back and drive like a VIP, after all you are going to be the one who will be made to go first.
2 c. If the above is also not possible then start honking once the signal is yellow from red because everyone else at the signal might be sleeping or may not have any other work other than just waiting at the signal.
Tips for parking:
1. If you find a parking space on the road, do not attempt to park it along the guiding lines with the center stand! Park it, randomly. If someone needs space to park their vehicle they will push your vehicle and make space. This saves your 1 minute of time to park correctly. Who needs parking precision anyways.
2. If you find a parking lot on the road and already packed with vehicles then park your vehicle behind those parked vehicles. People who have parked may not be able to pull their vehicles out but you will save your time to find a new parking spot which ranges from 1-5 minutes.
3. If there is no parking space at all then randomly park your vehicle on the road. Your vehicle will be safe because there are plenty of other vehicles parked on the road like yours. Police can pick at max 3 vehicles at once. Like what are the odds that they would pick yours. And they might not even notice that it is not a parking space as so many vehicles are parked.
Tips for pedestrian:
This might look totally unrelated as it is not about the drivers but these are the actors who contribute to the wonderful drama on road in absence of 80% group drivers.
1. When you are in a hurry, don't see if any vehicles are coming. Just run across. We all know vehicles have brakes.Vehicles will stop it if they don't want to be in jail. It's worth risking your life for saving 15 seconds to 1 minute.
2. When you are in doubt if the vehicle is going to slow down while you try to cross, keep moving back and forth to build confusion until the driver gives up and hits the brake. Good for you as you can now peacefully cross the road.
3. If you do not wish to see the vehicles coming onto you then look in the opposite direction and cross. That's how buffaloes and cows cross the road. I haven't seen any buffalo dead on road till date.
Well who need driving skills, road sense anyways. Some blame women for bad driving skills, I don't know since when majority of the population turned into women.
So to which group do you belong ?
You might be an amazing driver but you will never belong to the 80% group till you acquire the following skill set!
Tips for 2 Wheeler:
1. When entering the main road from a sub road always enter the road without caring for vehicles moving on the main road. People are going to abuse you and you will create a jam which will clear only after 20 minutes but it will save you 2 minutes as you need to get your vehicle out first
2. If you are entering the main road from a sub road then never horn. Give a surprise to the drivers on the main road. This not only helps in testing their alertness but also helps to test their vehicle's braking system. It is also possible that you happen to be Tom Cruise, shooting for 'Mission Impossible'. Every second counts.
3. If you find a shortcut and it happens to be a one way, the direction opposite to yours , then check for police. If there is no one, then enter the road. Pedestrian might get confused and startled, some vehicle coming from a side road might have to hit hard on their brakes, but it saves loads of time ' Hey! it's called shortcut for a reason'. Law is to be followed whenever/wherever absolutely necessary.
4. If any vehicle from the sub road is trying to go across the main road then drive your vehicle around this vehicle, so you can go first. Yes, the driver was trying to test if you can drive in curved lanes.
5. If vehicle A is overtaking B and you feel both are slow , then you overtake A simultaneously even if you have to ride in the opposite lane . Remember to overtake before you spot a vehicle in opposite lane. This saves at least 1 minute else you may have to slow down, use your abusive language to defend yourselves against the one coming in the opposite lane as an effective response to your lack of sense of driving.
6. And when you want to try the above and there is no space towards your right , then overtake B from the left as A overtakes from right . B might crash onto your vehicle, or worse hit the brake and, the vehicles behind might bump into B but it's okay. Drivers expect themselves to be a part of 'fast and furious' car chase and of course you will be safe as long as B belongs to 20% group drivers.
Tips for 4 Wheeler:
1. Even when you are driving a huge 4 wheeler , if there is a thin lane which is the shortcut to your destination or avoids traffic, then enter the lane. All 2 wheelers come with an inbuilt flying system. Vehicles from your opposite direction may not have space to drive past you but can certainly fly. If there is another macho man like you, who also entered the thin lane with his huge 4 wheeler in the opposite lane then you can put your abusing skills to display. The mightier man wins and the other will have drive his vehicle in reverse till he finds a route to take a turn.
2. Even though there is a clear sign to drive slow and also instruction in the manual about the speed limitation , drive as fast as you can when you see an empty road. There is a little secret you need to know. All 4 wheelers are actually meant for F1. So braking system is very robust and high speed driving is recommended. Besides who would come your way when you are driving that crazy unless it is a helpless street dog or someone who is not paying attention to your reckless , oops ...I mean skilled driving.
Signal Tips for everyone:
1. If the signal turns red from yellow then accelerate, though it means to decelerate. Someone ahead of you might decelerate and you might crash on to him or you might stop the other lane vehicles who have green signal, but it will save your 3 minutes time. It's a loss for others on road who do not have an effective strategy like you.
2 a. If you are already stuck in a signal and you are waiting by the stop sign then don't wait till the signal goes green. Keep moving your vehicle ahead, inch by inch, till the other road vehicles can't get past your vehicle and let's you go first.
2 b. If you are stuck in a signal and you are not ahead then enter the opposite lane to reach the front. This will result in many more vehicles following your's and creating a jam but they must send you first to clear the jam . Here also people are going to abuse you, you can abuse them back and drive like a VIP, after all you are going to be the one who will be made to go first.
2 c. If the above is also not possible then start honking once the signal is yellow from red because everyone else at the signal might be sleeping or may not have any other work other than just waiting at the signal.
Tips for parking:
1. If you find a parking space on the road, do not attempt to park it along the guiding lines with the center stand! Park it, randomly. If someone needs space to park their vehicle they will push your vehicle and make space. This saves your 1 minute of time to park correctly. Who needs parking precision anyways.
2. If you find a parking lot on the road and already packed with vehicles then park your vehicle behind those parked vehicles. People who have parked may not be able to pull their vehicles out but you will save your time to find a new parking spot which ranges from 1-5 minutes.
3. If there is no parking space at all then randomly park your vehicle on the road. Your vehicle will be safe because there are plenty of other vehicles parked on the road like yours. Police can pick at max 3 vehicles at once. Like what are the odds that they would pick yours. And they might not even notice that it is not a parking space as so many vehicles are parked.
Tips for pedestrian:
This might look totally unrelated as it is not about the drivers but these are the actors who contribute to the wonderful drama on road in absence of 80% group drivers.
1. When you are in a hurry, don't see if any vehicles are coming. Just run across. We all know vehicles have brakes.Vehicles will stop it if they don't want to be in jail. It's worth risking your life for saving 15 seconds to 1 minute.
2. When you are in doubt if the vehicle is going to slow down while you try to cross, keep moving back and forth to build confusion until the driver gives up and hits the brake. Good for you as you can now peacefully cross the road.
3. If you do not wish to see the vehicles coming onto you then look in the opposite direction and cross. That's how buffaloes and cows cross the road. I haven't seen any buffalo dead on road till date.
Well who need driving skills, road sense anyways. Some blame women for bad driving skills, I don't know since when majority of the population turned into women.
So to which group do you belong ?
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